| | I HATE my phone. I truly think that I have done something terribly fucked up in a previous life to warrant the possession of a cursed phone.
My cell phone is so jacked up - first of all, it's a pink razr that was my sister's ex-secretary's old phone. The banner says "sexi lexi" on it and when it loads up, it says "Hello Beautiful!" in big letters (which I actually secretly like, but that's the only thing I like about the phone). I used to think my friend S**** who we all secretly think is gay was the biggest cock block ever. No. Having a pink razr phone is the biggest cock block you can possibly have. Imagine asking for a girl's number and trying to cover the exterior of the entire phone in your hands. IT DOES NOT WORK! I have tried and there are still little gaps where your fingers can't cover and they can see the color of the phone. Plus it makes you look like you are trying to hide your sexuality when you are cupping a pink razr phone and waving it away when a girl asks to look at it, then discovers it is pink.
If the phone were just pink, I would still be cool with it. I mean, I don't really care about the physical appearance of things. But this phone is like that girl you know that thinks she's super hot so she's a total bitch. My phone thinks it's cute and fashionable so it never fucking listens to me and just does whatever the fuck it wants to while being a total bitch to me.
It hangs up on people mid-call.
It goes periods of hours without reception in places where others have reception.
Its battery dies completely randomly at times.
Phone, you are not hot! You cannot do whatever you want and expect that you are so hot that I won't care. I do care and I think you're a total ugly bitch phone!
I tried to make it work. I bought you that brand new battery implant that doesn't even fit it is so big and makes your back stick out like a trashy ho. You were okay for a while but pretty soon you went back to being an even bigger bitch than before. I can't take it any more. It's over.
That's right, I am breaking the fuck up with your fugly ass and getting a pretty, sexy IPhone. I will smash you into pieces and post naked photos of you on this blog after I set your carcass on fire after I drive over you with my car after I take a baseball bat to your innards and expose you for all to see.
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
F U PHONE
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| | Posted 2/15/2009 10:59 PM - 5 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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